If i look different in any way why be such an ass about it?
compliment me at least if you think i look beautiful.
you make me feel fucking bad for dressing up just once.
now youre the one ticked off for telling you that i was offended by you calling my pictures ‘hilarious’? come the fuck on. im still a fucking girl. i liked being the center of attention even if it was just one night. who the fuck cares? god, you can be such a fucking asshole sometimes
So, so apparently we’re doing awalk out tomorrow in support of our English teacher who almost got sacked but instead, suspended for charges unknown. Meh. I’m glad he’s gone. and besides he would’ve thought it was stupid to begin with. this is just a program within a school we’re talking about walking out and not the whole school. now, if it was the whole school i think that could’ve made a difference but this out of the blue activism is getting to my nerves.
Mehh i hate them. especially when theyre youre friends who organize something (liiiike a walk out for example) just because of the hype and the supposed loyalty to some institution that they themselves dont even believe in
meh.
nothing ruins a good monday morning like standing out in the cold and fighting for something that you dont believe in
somehow i feel like we’re not gonna work out
i mea, yea, we could still be friends but romantically, its not happening i think
im crying ahh
i wanted us to happen so bad
we could’ve been perfect for each other
but now im losing faith in everything that we had
why do you discourage me from being with you?
shouldn’t you be the one pushing to move forward?
what about all the promises you made me? were those for nothing?
ahhh i dont know anymore
is it my one and only trying to push me away?
lately he’s been going on about us, like, how it would be awesome if we lived together and, I don’t know, get married in the long run? (yes, we’re actually thinking of that) but a couple of days ago, he seemed really down about something but he wouldn’t tell me what it was about. All he would say was just that it was one of those times that you randomly get depressed for no reason (kinda like me sometimes, he says)
I think it’s more than that somehow. Maybe he’s scared of commitment or that he really doesn’t want me there with him??? UGHHh I mean, c’mon…
But I admit, I think it’s just that both of us are pretty insecure about our futures with each other since our situation (I live in another city 8 hours away from him) makes it almost impossible to be with each other. But I realize that I’m the one promising to move in with him and not the other way around… knowing that I’ve already broken promises in the past, him saying “oh, it’s not that big of a deal if you don’t move out here” is his way of protecting himself from hurt expectations that I can’t fulfill as of yet… i think. Im not sure.
And get this. We’re not even dating yet
Yea yea I know. This was his reasoning: he can’t take the pain that the relationship would bring him and me because of our distance. He’s been through that once and is not going through it again. It makes me scared because what if, just what if, he finds another girl and think it ‘OK’ to be with her just because he’s not with me?
I don’t know anymore. It’s just so confusing now.
My birthday just came and went without a hitch (august 6) but i really didnt make a big deal about it. i dont know hy. usually i receive shitloads of gifts (like last year, i got a peridot pendant and some cash) FUCKK i just remembered right now that i forgot my girl from laurie and lauren at FACLA
UGHHHHHHH FML >.< i really like that shirt she gave me and those lotions grrrrr
anybody wanna help?
16 paragraphs of rhetorical analysis for Oedipus Rex due on monday
any takers? no? well fuck you D:
I hate them. It reminds me of how poor i am.
and lol i laugh at Jacob and his little girlfriend situation since she dropped the “L bomb” and he couldn’t say it back (well at least not that soon 
). i teased him about how he can say it to me but not to his girlfriend xD oohhh good times good times.
Blah. i know i talk about school a lot but please, bear with me here. im getting lazyyyy omg i have two sublevels to do today due tomorrow with a quiz. i have to do my econ questions due Wednesday, bring props for my english play, and study for my stats test on monday with 4 pages of notes D:
bahhh i cant believe how much i miss flip. i know its been a week since we’ve last talked. its ok for him i guess since he knows that i have school and “gotta do what i gotta do” but still, its like i’m going through withdrawal. me so addicted to himmmm it snot even funny. see look here, i think about him a lot A LOT. its not like obsession or anything its just that meehhh i miss him =.= no other way to put it. i wish he’d come here sooner ugh
EDIT: HOLY FUCK i almost forgot to include that … i watched harry potter yesterday ;3 it was alright but the ending sucked. it ust left you hanging but overall it was a good movie. i like the part where harry drinks the liquid luck, goes to hagrid’s and does those little clicking sounds while making pincer movements xD
Mkay. So. I found it amusing that our econ teacher was happy that we got high scores for our first test. seeing as that she expected most of us to have lower scores, this was a definite surprise. made me wanna study more i suppose. it’s like a placebo effect now. so for me in order to be content at school, i have to see that my efforts and good work makes someones day that much more easier. just like today ^^ i think that if students are shown this kind of feedback, no matter how small it may be, it makes a difference. it has to be genuine though, something that they didn’t learn in a class on how to teach children. the teacher almost has to appreciate the student as an equal and not just a subordinate.
in order for my senior year to be successful, i have to apply this sort of thinking with all of my classes and not just econ ( i really do like it by the way. it’s interesting to see how the economy functions).
loll i somehow just got to this conclusion since i was so pleased at our teacher’s reaction xD
